Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
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He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
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I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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