Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize