How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
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Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
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His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
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