THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
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And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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