i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
How did I end up in the pool?!
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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