Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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