'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize