Screwed.edu
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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