need another drink. this is the easiest way
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
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