new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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