I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize