First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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