you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
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and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
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Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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