im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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