It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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