It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
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Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
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I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Randomize