Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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