Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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