Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
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Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
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Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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