I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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