You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize