Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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