is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize