my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize