guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
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