Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...

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(314): Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship... http://tfl.nu/725d

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.

(803): View more from South Carolina

Genius.

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(704): I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty. (803): Genius. http://tfl.nu/hci7

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(512): View more from Texas

dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf

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(512): dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf http://tfl.nu/h3mw

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(513): View more from Ohio

The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon

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(513): The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon http://tfl.nu/vuj3

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(269): View more from Michigan

I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals

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(269): I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals http://tfl.nu/d194

Replies (4) Good night (2438) Bad night (823) Order T-Shirt
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(209): View more from California

There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.

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(209): There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them. http://tfl.nu/h2fg

Replies (2) Good night (2564) Bad night (983) Order T-Shirt
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(313): View more from Michigan

Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?

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(313): Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was? http://tfl.nu/iwh3

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(519): View more from Ontario

like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...

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(519): like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar... http://tfl.nu/2jmm

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.

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(403): Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good. http://tfl.nu/eqb8

Replies (10) Good night (3133) Bad night (709)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.

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(603): I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay. http://tfl.nu/s25q

Replies (8) Good night (3835) Bad night (885)
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(619): View more from California

I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.

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(619): I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain. http://tfl.nu/rwko

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(734): View more from Michigan

Guess what happened to me today at work?

(1-734): View more from Michigan

I have chlamydia. What happened.

(734): View more from Michigan

Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.

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(734): Guess what happened to me today at work? (1-734): I have chlamydia. What happened. (734): Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second. http://tfl.nu/rf53

Replies (11) Good night (2485) Bad night (1115)
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(207): View more from Maine

She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight

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(207): She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight http://tfl.nu/6sqo

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(423): View more from Tennessee

Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.

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(423): Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement. http://tfl.nu/2735

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(720): View more from Colorado

I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.

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(720): I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry. http://tfl.nu/lrky

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