I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
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I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
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So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
we're so committed to being not committed
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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