Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
did i just pee glitter
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize