do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
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does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
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Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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