Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I think I won the penis lottery.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me i tasted like america
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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