I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize