I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize