I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
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