I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
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The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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