She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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