we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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