Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't put those talents on a resume
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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