In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Randomize
