Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize