i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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