idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ATM looks so different sober.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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