hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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