Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
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Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
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Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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