i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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