I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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