we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
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I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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