we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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