I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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