dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
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I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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