dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
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